Hey everyone.. This is a jam I made for my Mom's birthday actually. Still have some.. so here it comes today!
Fig. 1 Apple Jam Jam Jammy!
My Mom makes the world's most wonderful Jam! But.. she
completely wings it! So far I have not been able to extract a precise recipe from her that gives me jam that tastes exactly like hers. I think she largely eyeballs the process till it gives her the texture and taste that is so
hers!! Oh well! The disadvantages of learning cooking on the phone. If I could see her make it, perhaps it might turn out perfect. The bane of my life is that no one has yet invented a
"Beam me up, Scotty" style
mass-transporter. Where is all the research money going? Who is working on this transporter stuff? Oh, if wishes were horses..
Today, I am trying my hand at food-fiction. So please bear with me. What follows is the product of a mind deranged by Jam and Star Trek!
Space Jam
Starry-eyed Sarita was about to leave small-town, Homeville, for glitzy Bollywood! Math and Science had never interested her. Sarita was all for the Arts! She had always been the lead in school plays, the best in her dance class and the funniest family-entertainer on dull Sunday afternoons. There was no doubt she had a glorious career in cinema and theater ahead.
Finally the time had come for her to explore the world and find her place in it! The shine and shimmer of Bollywood had pervaded all of Homeville just as it had the rest of the world. And its sheen had not escaped young Sarita! She dreamed of being paired with SRK and Hritik Roshan, no less!
Siya was going to be her screen-name and "
Siya... naam toh suna hoga!" was going to be the new
in dialog for the Johars and Chopras of Bollywood. Sarita was on her way to stardom and
nothing would stand in her way!
Except... Jam!! Sarita was terribly foodie. And her Mom's cooking was something she couldn't do without! And it wasn't just her dal and rice.. Mom's cookies, her cakes, her chicken, her fish, her smoothies, her shakes, her mutton, her quiche....and most of all.. Mom's jams!!! Uff! No Mam, Sarita could not ham a single word on silver screen without her Mom's jam! Brought up in the world of PBnJ, Sarita had to have her dose of jam every single day! But shiny Bollywood was oceans away! Air travel was going to be so expensive and time consuming... there would be no way to get Mom's jam every day! And then there was the question of her Mom's cookies, her cakes, her chicken, her fish, her smoothies, her shakes, her mutton, her quiche....
Sarita's was a heavy heart. To give up her dream of Bollywood!!! Or to leave behind the Mom who generates the most glorious food on this planet! Sarita knew what had to be done.
Someone had to do it. Someone simply
had to do it!! And since no one else was doing it.. she would just have to roll up her own sleeves and do it herself!
She
had to invent a
mass-transporter!
Anything is possible when you are a woman with an iron resolve (and writing nonsense masquerading as food-fiction). So my dear readers, this was how the acclaimed Nobel Laureate, Madam
Curie Purie, aka Sarita Purie started on her path to inventing the first mass-transporter on Earth. Her Mom's Apple Jam was the first test object to be transported from her refrigerator to the dining table. Only when she had herself executed the scientifically established "taste-test" and confirmed that the
molecular arrangement of the
re-materialized jam was perfection itself, did she release the mass-transporter for mass transport.
Her invention has now revolutionized travel all over the world. And yes, Sarita's dream has also come true! She still lives in Homeville, but works in Bollywood! She now routinely stars as
Siya in Bollywood movies with SRK and Hritik Roshan (both actors together in the same movie, Sarita playing a double-role!)
Of course, Sarita has to produce her movies herself. After all, who will invest in a geeky jam-eater!